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So, what would happen if .​.​.

by David Warin Solomons

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1.
The words (taking the last verse) are ...on the twelfth day of Christmas the choir processed in song and twelve candles dripped eleven altos flipped and ten lines were clipped and nine gins were sipped and eight crept to the crypt and seven hymn books slipped and six basses quipped and five sang in tune! and four cassocks ripped and three lost their script and two tenors tripped and the soloist got it all wrong.
2.
Refrain There were plums and prunes and cherries There were raisins and currants and cinnamon too. There were nuts and cloves and berries but the crust it was stuck on with glue. There were caraway seeds in abundance, It would give yer a fine stomach ache 'Twould kill any man twice to be eatin' A slice of Mrs Hooligan's Christmas cake. As I sat in me window last evenin' A letterman came unto me. He'd a nice little neat invitation Sayin' "Won't you come over to tea?" I knew it was Hooligan sent it So I went for our friendship's sake And the first thing he gave me to tackle Was a slice of Mrs. Hooligan's cake. Now Bridie Mulligan wanted to taste it, Ah but sure it was all of no use. Though she worked at it over one hour Still she could get not any of it loose. Till Hooligan went for the hatchet, And Kelly came in with the saw That cake was enough, by the power, To paralyse any man's jaw. Now Mrs. Hooligan proud as a peacock, she was smilin' and blinkin' away Till she tripped over Flanigan's brogans and spill'd the whole brewins of tay. Mrs Hooly, she cried: "you're not eatin'. Won't you try a bit more for my sake." "I've a roof to repair, Misses Hoolie, so I'd like the recipe for that cake."
3.
Venerable Mother Toothache Climb down from your white battlements, Stop twisting in your yellow fingers The fourfold rope of nerves; And tomorrow I will give you a tot of whiskey To hold in your cupped hands, A garland of anise flowers, And three cloves like nails. And tell the attendant gnomes It is time to knock off now, To shoulder their little pick-axes, Their cold-chisels and drills. And you may mount by a silver ladder Into the sky, to grind In the cracked polished mortar Of the hollow moon. By the lapse of warm [waters], And the poppies nodding like red coals, The paths on the granite mountains, And the plantation of my dreams.
4.
Wenn der Pott aber nu ein Loch hat [English translation below] lieber Heinrich, lieber Heinrich?' - 'Stopf's zu liebe Liese, liebe Liese, stopf's zu!' Womit soll ich's denn aber zustopfen, lieber Heinrich, lieber Heinrich? Mit Stroh, liebe Liese, liebe Liese, mit Stroh! Wenn's Stroh aber nu zu lang ist… Hack's ab… Womit soll ich's denn abhacken… Mit'm Beil… Wenn's Beil aber nu zu stumpf ist.. Mach's scharf… Womit soll ich's aber scharf machen… Mit'm Stein… Wenn der Stein aber nu zu trocken ist… Mach's nass… Womit soll ich's aber nass machen… Mit Wasser… Womit soll ich aber Wasser holen Mit'm Pott…. Aber wenn der Pott aber nu ein Loch hat...... But if the pot has a hole in it dear Henry, dear Henry? Plug it dear Lisa, dear Lisa plug it But what should I plug it with dear Henry dear Henry? With straw dear Lisa, dear Lisa with straw But if the straw is too long? cut it... But what should I cut it with? with an axe... But if the axe is too blunt? sharpen it.... What should I sharpen it with? with a stone... If the stone is too dry? make it wet What should I make it wet with? with water... What should I fetch water with? With the pot.... But if the pot has a hole in it.....
5.
Old Noah he had an ostrich farm with eggs on the largest scale, He ate his egg with a ladle in a egg-cup big as a pail, And the soup he took was Elephant Soup and fish he took was Whale, But they all were small to the cellar he took when he set out to sail, And Noah he often said to his wife when he sat down to dine, "I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine." The cataract of the cliff of heaven fell blinding off the brink As if it would wash the stars away as suds go down a sink, The seven heavens came roaring down for the throats of hell to drink, And Noah he cocked his eye and said, "It looks like rain, I think, The water has drowned the Matterhorn as deep as a Mendip mine, But I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine." But Noah he sinned, and we have sinned; on tipsy feet we trod, Till a great big black teetotaller was sent to us for a rod, And you can't get wine at a P.S.A., or chapel, or Eisteddfod, For the Curse of Water has come again because of the wrath of God, And water is on the Bishop's board and the Higher Thinker's shrine, But I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine.
6.
Motor Bus 01:55
What is it that roareth thus? [English translation below] Can it be a Motor Bus? Yes, the smell and hideous hum Indicat Motorem Bum... Implet in the Corn and High Terror me Motoris Bi Bo motori clamitabo Ne motore caedar a bo... Dative be or Ablative So thou only let us live Whither shall thy victims flee? Spare us, spare us Motor Be.... Thus I sang and still anigh Came in hordes Motores Bi Et complebat omne forum Copia Motorum Borum! How shall wretches live like us Cincti bis Motoribus Domine defende nos Contra nos motores bos! - A.D. Godley [English Translation] What is is that roars so, Can it be a motor bus? Yes the smell and hideous hum Indicates a motor bus... In the Cornmarket and the High Street Fear of the motor bus fills me I call out to the motor bus Lest I be killed by the motor bus Dative be or Ablative So thou only let us live Whither shall thy victims flee? Spare us, spare us Motor Bus.... So I sang and on and on Motor buses came in hordes And the whole market place was filled With a host of motor buses How shall wretches live like us Beleaguered by motor buses Lord defend us From these motor buses!
7.
Tonight we shall have the mending of fuses Yesterday we had cleaning of waste pipes and tomorrow mornng we shall have horrors we dare not imagine But Tonight we shall have the mending of fuses For convenience, fuse boxes are located in the darkest and most inaccessible corners of the domicile Groping among spiders webs, I know whichever I choose first The one I wanted will be last To effect fuse mending properly one needs fuse wire We ought to have had some somewhere Butr would have saved an hour If we had borrowed from next door in the first place Tonight - after the flash! - we shall have the mending of fuses again After the mending of plugs Which we could do if we could remember the wiring Which we could do if we could find the diagram from the Electicity board Tomorrow we shall have the mending of fuses again For tonight we shall make do with candles
8.
You bumbling stupidity of buzzzzz Striped furriness of fuzzzz a dangleness of legs noisily battering against the unseen solidness of sky's deprivation does freedom mean so much that you buzz in fury yet mean so little that you scorn the other window's open aid You bumbling stupidity of buzzzzzz Striped furriness of fuzzzzz be calm you furry roundness of anger Lower frenzy's pitch Let be gentle guided to deep hummed content sun-soaring unconfined sun-soaring unconfined
9.
Thrice the brinded cat hath mew'd Thrice and once the hedgepig whin'd Harper cries: 'Tis time, 'tis time. Round about the cauldron go; In the poison'd entrails throw. Toad, that under cold stone Days and nights hast thirty one Swelter'd venom sleeping got, Boil thou first i' the charmed pot. Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble. Fillet of a fenny snake, In the cauldron boil and bake; Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hellbroth boil and bubble. Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble. Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf, Witch's mummy, maw and gulf Of the ravin'd saltsea shark, Root of hemlock digg'd i' the dark Liver of blasphemer too, Gall of goat, and slips of yew Sliver'd in the moon's eclipse, Nose of Turk, and Tartar's lips, Finger of birth-strangled babe Ditch-deliver'd by a drab, Make the gruel thick and slab: Add thereto a tiger's chaudron, For the ingredients of our cauldron. Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble. Cool it with a baboon's blood, Then the charm is firm and good.
10.
A centipede was happy quite, until a frog in fun said: "Pray tell which leg comes after which?" This raised her mind to such a pitch, She lay distracted in a ditch, Considering how to run. She stopped and thought and mystified and lifted one leg slowly put right foot first and found it left her left leg was wrong right side She lay distracted in a ditch, Considering how to run. She stopped and thought and mystified and lifted one leg slowly put right foot first and found it left wrong side right side with a left right wrong She lay distracted in a ditch, Considering how to run.
11.
Bring us in good ale, and bring us in good ale; For our Blessed Lady's sake, bring us in good ale. 1. Bring us in no brown bread, for that is made of bran, Nor bring us in no white bread, there therein is no game; But bring us in good ale. 2. Bring us in no beef, for there is many bones, But bring us in good ale, for that goes down at once; And bring us in good ale. 3. Bring us in no bacon, for that is passing fat, But bring us in good ale, and give us enough of that; And bring us in good ale. 4. Bring us in no mutton, for that is often lean, Nor bring us in no tripes, for they be seldom clean; And bring us in good ale. 5. Bring us in no eggs, for there are many shells, But bring us in good ale, and give us nothing else; And bring us in good ale. 6. Bring us in no butter, for therein are many hairs; Nor bring us in no pig's flesh, for that will make us boars; And bring us in good ale. 7. Bring us in no puddings, for therein is all God's good; Nor bring us in no venison, for that is not for our blood; And bring us in good ale. 8. Bring us in no capon's flesh, for that is often dear; Nor bring us in no duck's flesh, for they slobber in the mere; And bring us in good ale.
12.
Mit Lust tret ich an diesen Tanz, ich hoff, mir werd ein schöner Kranz von einem schön Jungfräuelein darum will ich ihr eigen sein. So tret ich hie auf einen Stein: Gott grüss mirs zart Jungfräuelein! Und grüss euch Gott allsamt geleich, sie seien arm oder reich, Gott grüss euch all in einer G’mein, darzu auch die klein! So ich ein grüss, die ander nit, so wär ich kein rechter Singer nit! Right pleased am I to join this dance, I hope a beautiful young maiden will give me a garland Then I will be her own So I step up here upon a stone Tender maiden may God greet you and may God greet all here the same, be they poor or rich God greet everyone together here, even the little ones! Because if I greet one and not the others, I would not be a true singer!
13.
Voice 3 sings "DOMINO" (= to the Lord) throughout (sung here in octave organum) Voice 1 sings: Je languis de maus d'amours Mieux aime assez qu'il m'ocie Que nul autre maus Trop est jolie la mort Allegiés moi douce amie ceste maladie Qu'amours ne m'ocie (I languish from the pains of love I really prefer that it should kill me than any other pains Death is too pretty Sweet lover, relieve me of this illness So that love may not kill me) Voices 1 and 3 sing as before Voice 2 joins in and sings: Pucelete bele e avenant Joliete polie et plaisant - la sadete que je desir tant Mi fait lies jolis envoisies et amant N'est en mai ainsi gai roussignolet chantant S'amerai de cuer entierement M'amiete la brunete jolietement Bele amie qui ma vie en vo baillie aves tenue tant Je voz cri merci en souspirant (Beautiful maid, so lovely to see Pretty, refined and pleasing - the young maid I desire so much You make me happy, you make me fall in love There is no nightingale that sings in May Who would love so completely from the heart My beautiful brunette, so prettily My beautiful friend, who has my life in her hands, I call upon you for mercy as I sigh)
14.
Thule, the period of cosmography, Doth vaunt of Hecla, whose sulphureous fire Doth melt the frozen clime and thaw the sky; Trinacrian Etna's flames ascend not higher. These things seem wondrous, yet more wondrous I, Whose heart with fear doth freeze, with love doth fry. The Andalusian merchant, that returns Laden with cochineal and China dishes, Reports in Spain how strangely Fogo burns Amidst an ocean full of flying fishes. These things seem wondrous, yet more wondrous I, Whose heart with fear doth freeze, with love doth fry.
15.
Far in the distant Nile Valley down nameless highways unknown, where the Dead Sea`s gloomy ripples break, straining on their way unfinished home, with a song in their hearts, the swallows died, unable to return. Far in the distant Nile Valley down down nameless highways unknown. They never came back to adorn the Spring with heady song, to chant with the winds the green meadow, rebuild abandoned nests. They died on distant mountains, plains afar, unable to return. Far away. Can they subsist with the love of our hearts or our gardens` blossoms gay or our joyous vernal rains? They who died on the way unfinished home. Far in the distant Nile Valley. Unable to return.
16.
Up I arose in verno tempore [in springtime] and found a maiden sub quadam arbore [under a tree] that did complain in suo pectore [in her chest] saying "I feel puerum movere [the little boy moving] Adieu pleasures antiquo tempore, [in times gone by] full oft with you solebam ludere. [I used to play] but for my sins mihi deridere [they hold me in derision] with right good cause incipio flere [I start to weep] Now what shall I say meis parentibus, [to my parents] because I lay with quidam clericus [some man of the cloth] They will beat me cum virgis et fustibus [with sticks and clubs] and me sore chaste coram omnibus [in front of everybody] With the said child quid faciam [what shall I do] shall I it keep vel interficiam [or kill it] If I slay it quo loco fugiam [where shall I flee to] I shall lose God et vitam eternam [and eternal life]
17.
Being but men, we walked into the trees Afraid, letting our syllables be soft For fear of waking the rooks, For fear of coming Noiselessly into a world of wings and cries. If we were children we might climb, Catch the rooks sleeping, and break no twig, And, after the soft ascent, Thrust out our heads above the branches To wonder at the unfailing stars. Out of confusion, as the way is, And the wonder, that man knows, Out of the chaos would come bliss. That, then, is loveliness, we said, Children in wonder watching the stars, Is the aim and the end. Being but men, we walked into the trees.
18.
Ευλογητός εί, Χριστέ ο Θεός ημών, ο πανσόφους τους αλιείς αναδείξας, καταπέμψας αυτοίς το Πνεύμα το Άγιον, και δι' αυτών την οικουμένην σαγηνεύσας, Φιλάνθρωπε, δόξα Σοι [Transliteration] Evloyitos i, Khriste o Theos imon o pansofus tus aliis anadixas katapempsas avtis to Pnevma to Ayion ke dhi avton tin ikumenin sayinevsas Filanthrope Dhoxa Si [English translation] Blessed be you, O Christ our God Who showed the fishermen to be most wise you sent the Holy Spirit upon them and through them you caught the inhabited world in your net O Lover of Mankind Glory to you
19.
Sing, O daughter of Zion; shout, O Israel; be glad and rejoice with all the heart, O daughter of Jerusalem. The LORD hath taken away thy judgments, he hath cast out thine enemy: the king of Israel, even the LORD, is in the midst of thee: thou shalt not see evil any more. In that day it shall be said to Jerusalem, Fear thou not: and to Zion, Let not thine hands be slack. The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.
20.
Flow, my tears, fall from your springs! Exiled for ever, let me mourn; Where night's black bird her sad infamy sings, There let me live forlorn. Down vain lights, shine you no more! No nights are dark enough for those That in despair heir lost fortunes deplore. Light doth but shame disclose. Never may my woes be relieved, Since pity is fled; And tears and sighs and groans my weary days Of all joys have deprived. From the highest spire of contentment My fortune is thrown; And fear and grief and pain for my deserts Are my hopes, since hope is gone. Hark! you shadows that in darkness dwell, Learn to contemn light Happy, happy they that in hell Feel not the world's despite.
21.
Come away, come sweet love The golden morning breaks. All the earth, all the air, Of love and pleasure speaks: Teach thine arms then to embrace, And sweet Rosy Lips to kiss, And mix our souls in mutual bliss. Eyes were made for beauty's grace, Viewing, Rueing. Love's long pain Procur'd by beauty's rude disdain. Come away, come sweet love, The golden morning wastes, While the sun from his sphere, His fiery arrow casts: Making all the shadows fly, Playing, Staying In the grove, To entertain the stealth of love. Thither sweet love let us hie, Flying, Dying In desire, Wing'd with hopes and heav'nly fire. Come away, come sweet love, Do not in vain adorn Beauty's grace, that should rise, Like to the naked morn: Lilies on the river's side, And fair Cyprian Flow'rs new-blown. Desire no beauties but their own. Ornament is nurse of pride, Pleasure Measure Love's desire: Haste then sweet love our wished flight
22.
Dont vient cela, belle, je vous supply, Que plus à moy ne vous recommandez ? Tousjours seray de tristesse remply, Jusques a tant qu'au vray me le mandez. Je croy que plus d'amy ne demandez. Ou maulvais bruyt de moy on vous revelle Ou vostre cœur a fait amour nouvelle. Si vous laissez d'amour le train joly, Vostre beauté prisonniere rendez ; Si pour autruy m'avez mis en oubly, Dieu vous y doint le bien que pretendez Mais si de mal en rien m'apprehendez, Je veulx qu'autant que vous me semblez belle, D'autant ou plus vous me soyez rebelle. [English translation] Why is it beautiful lady, I beg you that you no longer confide yourself in me? I shall always be sorrowful until you let me know the truth. I believe you no longer need a lover or that you have heard bad things about me or that your heart now has a new love. Even if you abandon the pretty path of love Your beauty makes you a prisoner. If you have forgotten me for another May God grant you the happiness you desire But if you don't think ill of me I wish that, just as you seem beautiful to me, You do not act so wilfully towards me.
23.
O lusty May 01:13
O lusty May, with Flora queen! The balmy dropis from Phoebus sheen Preluciand beams before the day: By that Diana growis green Through gladness of this lusty May. Then Esperus, that is so bricht, Til woful hairtis castis his light, With bankis that bloomis on every brae; And schouris are shed forth of their sicht Through gladness of this lusty May. Birdis on bewis of every birth, Rejoicing notis makand their mirth Richt plesantly upon the spray, With flourishingis o'er field and firth Through gladness of this lusty May. All luvaris that are in care To their ladies they do repair In fresh morningis before the day, And are in mirth ay mair and mair Through gladness of this lusty May.
24.
To Musicke bent is my retyred minde And faine would I some song of pleasure sing ; But in vaine ioys no comfort now I finde, From heau'nly thoughts all true delight doth spring. Thy power, O God, thy mercies, to record, Will sweeten eu'ry note and eu'ry word. All earthly pompe or beauty to expresse, Is but to carue in snow, on waues to write. Celestiall things, though men conceiue them lesse, Yet fullest are they in themselues of light : Such beames they yeeld as know no meanes to dye, Such heate they cast as lifts the Spirit high.
25.
Tant que vivray en aage florissant As long as I am in the prime of life Je serviray d'amour le dieu puissant, I shall serve the powerful god of love En faictz, en ditz, en chansons et accordz; In all I do and say and in my songs and harmony Par plusieurs jours m'a tenu languissant, For many days he made me languish Et puis apres ma fait resjoyssant, But afterwards he made me rejoice, Car j'ay l'amour de la belle au gent corps; Because I have the love of the fair lady Son alliance, c'est ma fiance, Her betrothal is pledged to me Son coeur est mien, le mien est sien, Her heart is mine, my heart is hers Fy de tristesse, vive liesse, Away with sadness, welcome gladness Puisqu'en amours j'ay tant de biens. Because I have such riches in love Quand je la veulx servir et honorer, When I wish to serve and honour her Quand par escriptz veulx son nom decorer, When I wish to praise her name in my writings Quand je la veoy et visite souvent, When I see her and visit her often Ses envieux n'en font que murmurer; Envious folk just murmur Mais nostre amour n'en scauroit moins durer; But our love will endure nonetheless; Autant ou plus en emporte le vent, The wind may blow all else away, Maulgre envie, toute ma vie, Despite those envious souls, all my life Je l'aymeray et chanteray; I shall love her and sing C'est la premiere, c'est la derniere She is the first and last Que j'ay servie et serviray. Whom I have served and will serve

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This collection represents various facets of my musical output as alto solo performer, multitrack choir and composer.

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released March 2, 2015

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David Warin Solomons Sale, UK

Composer from UK born in 1953, concentrating on lyrical and tonal works for chamber music combinations, solo voice and choral works.

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